"You just have to trust me"

I can't think of too many words that I like to hear less than that.  Trust.  Today this exact phrase was spoken to me by someone when I questioned the authenticity of his story - which changed with the day.  It was on a matter of great personal importance.  I was unhappy that the story changed.  His reply: "You just have to trust me."

Um...no, I don't.

I am short on trust this year as it is.  Too much has happened.  Too many disappointments.  Too many hurts, from foolishly having hope and trusting, that are now too deep to heal.

I feel hard on the outside.  Flat and lifeless on the inside. Heart chakra has no movement - completely absent.  Long moments of quiet inside as I hold my breath and wait for whatever comes next, wait without vision or hope, just wait for whatever comes next.