A question that has been very much on my mind lately is what to do about the greater part of me that has left.  Do I call her back, do I let her go, do I just sit patiently by and wait to see if the situation resolves on its own?  Who am I in the absence of the larger part of myself, and is it reasonable to think of moving forward without her, or am I in nothing more than a holding pattern until she returns.

People talk about soul retrieval as bringing back a part of one's soul.  For me, it feels that a majority of mine has left, not just a "part."  I think of myself as an empty tin can.  No one seems to notice I am empty because they are looking at the front label, which has not changed, and assuming the contents are still inside.  No one sees that the can is actually empty.

I think my soul held out as long as she could, trying to find some way to stay, until there was just no holding out anymore.  I know exactly why she left.  I know exactly where she is now.  I know she is in a good place with good company, including "one-who-sees-in-the-dark," my guide, who is also a part of myself.  What better company could she keep?

Its my feeling that it is not right to ask her to come back.  I think that would be an act of selfishness.  Although I need her, the situation here "on the ground" has not changed.  What drove her to leave, that there was no place in this world for someone like her, has not and will not change. 

So, its my responsibility to set her free.

I laid in bed this morning (sleep escapes me too often now) and it came to me that I should write down a list of each pain that she had here that made living here too hard, write each down on a slip of paper and then burn them in a fire ceremony.  Truthfully I would prefer to tie each to a stick and burn, but the weather is still too warm and humid for a true fire in our fireplace.  So, write each on a slip of paper, and one by one, burn them all, then carefully collect the ash as one would have ash from a cremated loved one, and and scatter the ash somewhere.  Release it all back to nature.

In essences, its time to acknowledge the loss of her, the passing.

Then move on with what little bits and discarded pieces that make up "me."  I have no idea what "me" is, who "me" is, or even if there is enough left inside with which to move forward.

That's a problem to figure out later.