postscript

To my old friend who is now gone from my life.

Leaving abruptly and never once looking back, never once trying to work through the difficulty that came between us left no opportunity for repair, for forgiveness, for growth, for turning a bad situation into something better.

Its unrealistic to think that a relationship will never run into difficulties, especially ours, since you and I have such a different set of values and way of living. Your issues and my issues collided head on, two freight trains headed in opposing directions. It was inevitable. You and I both know that.

What was not inevitable was never doing anything to pick up the pieces. Instead everything froze in time at that moment. Doors closed and only silence remained.

I was left only with the hole ripped wide open through me and no path to fixing it, to fixing anything.

Its hard to forgive myself in a vacuum. Its hard to put the memory of our friendship in any good context when it was so easily terminated.

Lost was the chance to heal and grow and forgive. Lost was the opportunity to learn and do better next time. What you may have never understood was that if you had chosen to try, you would have found me there with you. But I could not do it alone, and you were nowhere to be found.

Too bad you are not around to hear this.