Being Woman

I am female.

I am a woman.

I an NOT an anomaly.

I am NOT an outlier.

I have spent most of my life living on the fringes of many things, including allowing myself to be fully female in my rightful way.

I succumbed to the messages from our sick society that tells women there are very narrow definitions of pretty, of feminine, and thus of value.

I could never meet, and more importantly never had any desire to meet these brainwashed vapid definitions of female.

Wear your hair a certain way.  Walk a certain way.  Talk a certain way. Limit your body size because smaller is always better.  Spend money you do not have on hair, nails, jewelery, clothing, makeup, accessories etc. to ensure you meet the minimum standards. (I spent my money instead on books, art, adventures, experiences, binoculars, cameras etc.)

I had to reach my mid-forties before I could very clearly see how drastically twisted the narrow definition of acceptable has become, and to understand how fully pathetic it really is.  I only recently started to understand that I let others take from me my own definition of value, my own defintion of what it rightfully means to be a woman.

I have hands.  They are meant for work, for creation, for helping.  They are not meant wear fake nails that disable their ability to function.

I have legs.  They are meant for taking me places, for kicking someone's ass when necessary (even my own), for connecting me solidy to mother earth.  They were never meant to be objects for other's visual indulgences.

I have eyes.  They are meant to allow me to see the world.  They have no need for fake lashes, for paint, nor are they meant to always look to the ground and be humble. 

I have a heart.  Its meant to connect me to all-that-is, to dear ones, to the whisper in the wind.  It was never meant to lust after shallow and vapid pursuits - shopping, social climbing, materialism.

I have a body that houses all the organs I need to survive.  It was not meant to be starved, to be cut into simply for reshaping it to a mold, to be judged by its dimensions.

I have a mind.  It was not meant to be filled with the images of soul-empty models found in countless meaningless women's magazines.  It was meant to spend hours at the library (pre-internet), to sit and listen to masters teach, to explore the world, challenge the experts, dream of new ways of living.

I have anger sometimes that a small fraction of shallow women hijacked for the rest of us the definitions of woman, and that they took it in such meaningless and demeaning directions, and that there has been very little opposition to this.  Who is it that told women they are not perfect JUST THE WAY THEY ARE?  Why have we allowed young girls to be taught that it is their responsibility for the rest of their lives to look in appearance any way other than simply the natural way that they are.  Why do we hate a natural woman so very much?

Being woman means being fully myself, connected to the earth, looking to the sky, knowing my true worth in every step I take.  I make no apologies for my looks, my refusal to wear makeup or shoes impossible to walk in.  Beauty is in a way a person exists, in the way they move through space, in the way they consider others, in the way their eyes laugh, in living without leaving carnage in their wake.  Beauty is not a physical definition, it only shines out from one's spirit and soul.

When young girls are taught that the only thing that matters is their mind, their spirit, their heart and their soul and in knowing their self worth, only then will our society begin to heal.